HELLO WORLD!!!!

Its been a bit hasn’t it? (and by that I mean a day)

first off I’m gonna start by thanking everyone who actually reads this, silent reader or not, you’re the best!

I’ve been feeling like I’ve gotten to that part in my life where I get really bored all the time and when I get happy I get really happy and when I get sad I get really sad. (#heightened emotions) does anyone else feel like that?

I realized that I love typing, love feeling my fingers tap against the letters on a keyboard, it makes me feel….. I don’t know, its not exactly a describable feeling.

teenage years aren’t easy at all, everyone in class seems older than me and that makes me want to hide my age most times because yeah as much as we all act like peoples thoughts don’t matter, as much we say we are keeping it one hundred percent real, peoples words do matter and most of the time we are only keeping it about seventy percent real.

why do we always have to be perfect? I mean, most girls always have to have the perfect make up on to match the perfect outfit which consists of the perfect shoes, the perfect clothes, the perfect jewelry even the perfect nail polish.

I’m a new teen and I am finding myself. Honestly, sometimes I just wanna go back to primary school where people didn’t care about the kind of car that picked you up from school.

Lately I’ve been feeling this flood of emotions, like there are literally feels everywhere, I guess its part of growing up? if so I don’t particularly like it. for this exact reason I’ve been trying to stay away from movies or books with way too much emotion. Do you ever try to hold in your tears in a really sad part of a book or a movie just so you can seem like you don’t care or something?

I’ve been trying to write a book lately but it seems like I never finish any book I start, I just stop in the middle and get bored. Most of my friends who read what I write at school say they are good and I could become a writer but I don’t know, still working on it.

Cursing has become a regular part of my in-head vocabulary. Lately, every time something happens and I feel exasperated or sad or frustrated the first thing that comes to my mind is cursing. BTW I curse bad words (sort of) but I do it in my head because I want to preserve my vocabulary innocence. I don’t want to be labelled as that girl who curses a lot.

I don’t want to pretend here so I’m going to keep it hundred percent original right here while I keep my seventy percent out there, in the real world.

Do some days just feel plain dark for you? most of the time maybe if I watch a scary movie, or a sad movie or even read a particularly dark kind of book at some point in the day, the rest of the day has this gloomy aura hanging above it. Lately though I’ve just been feeling weirdly gloomy. Maybe its the weather? its been raining nearly everyday on my side of the world. Though, when I’m not goofing around or talking to my sister or friends I feel…… I don’t know, simple?  I’ve even written some dark poem about… well, it’s a weird poem that’s for sure.

Is anything normal at all?

I’d like you all to know that this is a judge free zone.

yours, confused (Ah, well mostly)

-TEENAGE OUTSIDER