Funny things Nigerians do (READ!!!)

nigerian 3

People!! How far? So you guys already know I’m Nigerian right but I also know lots of people of different nationalities and while some of them like Nigerians, most of them have some serious mixed feelings about us. so I made this post highlighting a few reasons why Nigerians are fun people.

If you’re Nigerian or you have a Nigerian friend who’s actually lived in Nigeria you know that we have an accent “The Nigerian Accent” lol, and it varies between the ethnic groups as in the Yoruba man’s accent is quite different from the Igbo man’s accent but it is still just the Nigerian accent anyway. However, since I grew up watching a lot of Disney channel (shout out to my fellow disney babies!) my accent is not so thick except there’s a situation like say I’m mad or frustrated but then also when I’m just trying to be funny or talking with a fellow Nigerian. You dare not be a Nigerian and speak “Foneh” (American accent/ British accent, Australian accent, any other accent that is not Nigerian) to a fellow Nigerian when two of you are living in Africa together and they are being serious and talking the Nigerian accent with you. The look alone that you’ll get will confuse you, Β nobody will tell you two times to stop iiiitttt.

accent 2

Nigerian parents have a way of exaggerating and you dare not reply.

1. *wakes up in the morning and goes to greet mom, her response: “and what is good about the morning en so you have finally decided to wake up, in my own days we used to wake up very early in the morning and sweep the house, make fire, baff (bathe) our younger ones then go and cook breakfast for the whole house before going to school and on the way back we will still go to the farm and even after we come back we would still cook. All you know how to do is sleep sleep sleep, you think if i was lazy like you you would be here today? my friend go and brush your teeth.” (Note that all you said was good morning, but even that too and you have caused trouble)

2. Nigerians reactions to certain things are just priceless. *A boy is talking to his crush and today she finally tells him she likes him too* The Boy’s Response : “oo baby come and hold me before I die, just shift let me faint, please just come and kill me, see how my body is now doing me somehow.”

3.*Two friends are hanging out and one person does something weird* “Come Bola (a name) how is it doing you this afternoon? I know it in my heart that your mother did not born (give birth) you like this.”

4.*you annoy your nigerian friend* “just wait, the thunder that will strike you is doing push up. The cane they will use and flog you in hell fire, they are currently dipping it inside kerosene, go and hug transformer/ barbed wire”

5. *your nigerian mom asked you to bring her something and you don’t drop it on the table or on any surface nearby* “mummy here it is” her response: “come and put it in my mouth! Yes oh put it in my mouth! Or put it on top of my head, because common sense is not common in this your life”

6. *There is a little situation and your parents have understood it wrongly, just leave it, don’t even try to correct them after the first try, pretend you agree with them and move on with your life or else* “ennhen! so you this child of yesterday just because you have gone to school you think you are more intelligent than me? let me tell you that what an old man can see sitting down, a young boy cannot see it standing at the top of an iroko tree.” (but dad i was only trying to help).

7. *Someone does something bad or something really bad happens* other people will exclaim “OMG! or Jesus!, or sometimes even blood of Jesus!” Nigerians: “Blood of Zachariah! Blood of Moses! Jesus Christ the son of God! Tell me something!” Β It will not surprise me if I hear blood of pharaoh or blood of Nebuchadnezzar one day.

8. Β Or when your Nigerian mother catches you hanging out with a boy from school

nigerian
ewwooo Nkiru So you have joined bad gang you mean i sent you to school to talk to boy? God forbid That is how you want to reduce your bride price, my enemies will not succeed, this girl you will not kill me

Note that all that while you are being pulled by the ear back into the house.

And guys If you have not come across Nigerian memes well let me introduce you to the actor Pete Edochie. You have not seen memes more random than these

pete1

 

You are a Nigerian and your parents take you to the village to meet the extended family, you dare not:

  1. Form Americana (act like a westerner) and call anyone who is older than you by their names. Everyone and I mean everyone is “Auntie or Uncle or Brother or Sister” related or not. for example: “Brother Godspower, Uncle Sunday”. In fact you might be in trouble if they (the granma’s) catch you calling your own older brother by his name. “so does it mean that in that city you are coming from there is no respet(respect), you mean what you want to tell me is that they are not teaching you respet dia” (there).
  2. You dare not collect something from someone older than you with your left hand or what will happen to you, you will know truly truly that you have angered the gods.
  3. You dare not speak english to the elderly ladies. Just smile and nod because if they find out you can barely speak the native language they will not only finish you but your parents are in soup (trouble) as well for not teaching you.
  4. You dare not greet anyone saying “hey, or hi”. That day your own has finished. “enh? me? you are calling me hey? Jezos! it is me you are saying hey? ewwooo I have suffered” (but all you did was say hi).

sam.gif

Oh and the Nigerian pidgin English. Let me just say if you do not know how to speak it do not, I repeat do not go and form i’m a Nigerian by birth and hang where people are speaking it telling yourself if I listen closely maybe I’ll understand because you won’t and there’s a huge possibility they are making jest of you. *A Nigerian walking out of a building meets another Nigerian walking in and the following short conversation takes place* Person going in: “You dey go?”

Person coming out: “I dey come” …..And they make complete sense.

Or how Nigerians like to mention everything twice. “mumu” (a silly person), borrow borrow (anyone who always borrows stuff), sharp sharp (quickly), mago mago (tricky), follow follow (copycat), potopoto (something disgusting), fear fear, lie lie (a liar), touch touch (when someone touches your stuff) etc.

Or *something bad happens and they would give the situation background instrumentals * “ghen ghen”, “that is how I was coming and I saw this girl walking ‘one two one two’ on the road, I now wanted to stop her and ask directions but when I touched her she just turned and slapped me ‘Tohwai!’ so I now slapped her back ‘kpas!’ and she fell on the floor ‘gbam!’ then she pulled me down and hit me ‘kposa!’ my eyes now come and do me ‘two two’…”

Mr-Ibu
you don mean it, tell me something.

please when the story starts to sound like that just take a seat because you’re not going anywhere anytime soon lol.

Well guys there it is! the reasons I think Nigerians are oddly fun people. If I missed out anything please let me know! I hope you liked this post and if you did hit the button and comment! oh and follow me!! until next time… ppeeaaaccee!

 

 

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greyskiesandbluewaters

Hi guys! welcome to my blog! Here is where you'd see most of the thoughts going through my head about any and everything but filtered of course :). i'm a young woman, I like to say young woman lol makes me feel more mature. young woman who's just learning to live life to the fullest. However, my bestfriend Prince will also be posting on here. I've been thinking about starting this blog for a while now and he encouraged me to do it and i'm quite excited. I do hope it turns out great! Okay now, welcome to the whirlpool that is my mind!

7 thoughts on “Funny things Nigerians do (READ!!!)

  1. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
    Laff wanna kill me ooo!
    Nice piece of work, All what u listed are basically what makes we the Nigerians unique..

    Liked by 1 person

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